Why I Always Speak English When Approaching Girls In Tokyo

By Kaku Nanashi


"Konichiwa" or "Hello"? Bilingual playboys have differing opinions when it comes to what language one should use when approaching girls in Japan.

For myself, approaching Japanese girls in English has always yielded better results. But bear in mind that I am not an average foreigner, so the particulars of your situation may be different form mine. In any case, here is my reasoning.

Reason # 1: To Stand Out and Avoid Sociocultural Assumptions

I am Japanese-American. Prior to opening my yapper, I am not so different from the other 50 million native Japanese dudes in this nation. If I approach a lady with a standard Nihongo 101 greeting, I will be quickly classified as a run-of-the-mill Japanese male. Her brain will quickly toss me in a mental box with all the other Japanese dudes (most likely losers) who have propositioned her in the past. Odds are this is not in my favor, so I like to prevent this unfavorable knee-jerk response whenever possible.

I like to immediately separate myself from the hordes of thirsty Japanese dudes and what is culturally expected from them with a simple English greeting. This may seem like over-thinking it, but dating is a numbers game and every little edge helps.

English-speaking asians are also somewhat intriguing to Japanese people due to our relative rarity. That extra bit of intrigue definitely has bought me a couple extra moments to work my charm on multiple occasions. If you're a non-asian, I still recommend using English initially because it will make any Japanese that you drop later in your interaction will be that much more of a welcome surprise.

Quick Filtering and Reliable Responses

Most interactions in Japanese follow a very set sequence of polite phrases and tempered behaviors. Japanese people typically operate on autopilot in common social situations. This makes it very difficult for the uninitiated to the gauge how interested a Japanese girl may be. Using English to initiate a conversation short circuits these automatic responses and gives you a better look at what a Japanese girl is really feeling at the moment.

Reason # 3: Less Excuses

My Japanese is wonderful. Real wonderful. Hey there, everybody, come see how good my Japanese is. Even so, my English is still light years better. And I'm no master ladies' man. I still get approach anxiety sometimes. When I'm not feeling completely social, there are times when conversing in another language is just enough of an obstacle to make me say, "I'm going home". But since I mainly approach ladies with English, this reason seldom comes up in my mind.

You don't have to worry too much about the girl not understanding you. English education here is bad, but it's not so bad that they won't know what "hello" means. Use whatever greeting comes naturally to you and see where it takes you.

A Final Word

As with any advice, do not take this as gospel; go out and try it for yourself. Let me know how it works for you. I'd also love to know if this works for bilinguals in other countries.




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